e-hh-ee
In the morning following his first encounters with grandmother ayahuasca at the retreat center, surrounded by serene nature, he finds himself sporadically penning down sentences, immersed in reflection and speaking very little.
Later that day, at the integration session, all were asked to express the essence of their experiences. He combined the sentences he was writing earlier and recited them as poetry.
This sharing was a hugely vulnerable act for him. The poem captures his longing, exhilaration, and awe of having been through a night that ranks as, for the lack of a better word, the most divine of his life yet.
The poem is titled 'e-hh-ee', which is the sound of his wailing that night as he remembers it... and there was a lot of it.
He was surprised and touched by the extremely kind reception of the sharing. Realizing that he can resonate with others simply by being honest to his present feelings as he pours out his thoughts... this was a big personal revelation.
Here's that poem -
A coconut like human
Tending to touch the truth
In all arts.. and then some words
Thank you 🙏
For each and every tear drop
e hh ee
(Pooff) Gone
Such ephemeral
Beauty’s mother
e hh ee
How does one begin to describe the scariest and the most beautiful night of one’s life?
With a poem of course
Or a song
Or a paean
Or in infinite ways the heart feels alive
e hh ee
I don’t feel ready to share my experience
Probably it’ll take time
For love to find a language As heartbreakingly divine
e hh ee
I don’t feel ready to share my experience
Perhaps fear is too cute a word
e hh ee
So astonishingly ephemeral
and these mere words
e hh ee
For the day I get ready.
This
will not be here
e hh ee
Accommodate this gift
of (heart) expansion
e hh ee
And how about money?
e hh ee
My parts
My parts
My parts
I heal you all
One tight embrace at a time
At your time
e hh ee
What is the music of grief?
How does it smell?
e hh ee
And it comes again
This time in a white dress
And a lot of space
To celebrate it
e hh ee
I cried at
I cried at
And at that too
Plus some more
e hh ee
The heart is enough unto itself
It lives in a forgotten way perhaps
e hh ee
As I sit awestruck in the golden light
Hours away after or before
I meant to have met with someone
Whom I had never imagined I’ll call mine
And want to search for a good explanation
For it all, I see the light .. and my heart rests in the unknown
And feels okay to let it be
Let it me
Moo.
It’s real
It’s true
Just like the music
A Human too
Lives.
As magically between my ears
e hh ee
Self (is) Love
It’s not a big deal
It’s a hearty one
It’s not a personal view
It’s a connected teacher
The best I’ve had
e hh ee
e hh ee
e hh ee
Disclaimer: This blog post is intended for educational and reflective purposes only. The events described are shared as a fictionalized narrative and do not constitute an endorsement, promotion, or encouragement of any specific activities. The author does not advocate or promote illegal activities and reminds readers to adhere to the laws and regulations of their own jurisdictions. This piece explores themes of personal growth, spirituality, and self-reflection within a creative storytelling format.